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Quotes from the Divine Miss M...


"My specialty is to make people laugh really, really hard and then turn around and make them cry . Thats what I do."

"Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week."

"I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing."

"I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity."

"I always try to balance the light with the heavy -- a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes."

"The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you."

"I didn't belong as a kid, and that always bothered me. If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier."

"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance."

"Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes!"

"My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors."

"After thirty, a body has a mind of its own."

A Bette quote (from

"When I moved to New York, I was very disappointed in how parts of the city looked. I was so upset, I didn't sleep for weeks. I love New Yorkers, and I'm like them..I'm noisy, I have my opinions..but I'm not used to the kind of carelessness and waste that I was seeing. People were throwing their garbage out the window, leaving their lunches on the ground. Finally, I realized I needed to actually do something..even if I had to pick up the stuff with my own two hands."
~Bette Midler
an interview with Good Housekeeping Magazine

"My whole life had been spent waiting for an epiphany, a manifestation of God's presence, the kind of transcendent, magical experience that lets you see your place in the big picture. And that is what I had with my first compost heap."
~Bette Midler

Another Bette quote:
"Basically, what I was doing was a character that has always had a place in show business, and that's the Broad. People always love a broad--someone with a sense of humor, someone with a fairly wicked tongue, someone who can belt out a song, someone who takes no guff. When I came up, there wasn't anyone like that. The last one, I'd have to say, was Sophie Tucker."

Bette on the Bathouse Betty name...

"One night I was alone in my beach house and I heard someone outside the door shouting,'Bathhouse Betty! Bathhouse Betty! Come Out!' It was some drunken fan and, of course, I was frightened, but at the same time it was so funny. I thought to myself,'Well, Bette, I guess you haven't come so far after all...'"

A Soph Joke...
One time I came home from a FABULOUS check up. I said
"Ernie, guess what? The doctor said I have the constitution of a 20 year old girl.
He says I have the heart, lungs, and liver of a 20 year old girl." Ernie looked me
up and down. He said "Hey, did he mention your 80 year old ass." I said "No, we
didn't talk about you!"

Bette quotes from movies...

"Sure, we're friends aren't we?" From Beaches

"It looks like a flamingo threw up in here!" From Beaches

"I know everything there is to know about you, and my memory is long. My memory is very long." From Beaches

"Nope, I only do encores for cash" From Beaches

"I am saying this with love, compassion and true sisterhood. You are full of shit!" From the First Wives Club

"I've been kidnapped by Hewy and Dewy!" From Ruthless People

One of my fav Bette quotes...
"Make sure your Life is a Rare Entertainment!
It doesn't take anything drastic.
You needn't be gorgeous, or wealthy, or smart,
Just Very Enthusiastic!"